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Confidence is knowing that you can do something.
Confidence is also knowing that you know enough about something that you are willing to take the risk of trying something new.

In our training program, REA 101 – The Essential Guide for New Real Estate Assistants, we describe the learning process in 3 Phases:

  1. Follow
  2. Manage
  3. Lead

Confidence is an essential factor in moving up the scale from a new hire’s ability to first follow a system, then manage it, and finally to lead everyone involved through the process! Experience is a key ingredient in developing confidence.


So what kind of experience counts? ALL kinds, especially the mistakes and the failures! It is actually incredibly helpful when things don’t go as we planned or as we hoped. We’re provided with an opportunity to “fail forward” as we learn new skills and develop resilience.

When the failures happen, which they will if you are pushing the envelope on what you can achieve, our old friend FEAR will APPEAR.
The best way to build confidence at this point is to recognize what FEAR is and calculate our way through the obstacles to achieve even microscopic progress.

Remember, FEAR is:
FEAR = False Evidence Appearing Real
FEAR = Forget Everything And Run
FEAR = Finding Excuses And Reasons

or, you could try: FEAR = Face Everything And Recover

Fear is trying to steal our joy and keep us stuck; don’t let it win! See it for what it is and press forward. This is when the Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz come into play. The Second Agreement is “Don’t Take Anything Personally”. Even if fear appears as a fire-breathing dragon, stay calm and centered, and work with someone to navigate your way to what’s next in achieving your goal. This is how you gain personal power that contributes to confidence. Confidence-building is an INSIDE JOB; you are the only one who can allow it to blossom for yourself.

Jerry Seinfeld has been known to say that ‘fake confidence looks and feels just like real confidence’ so go ahead and ‘fake it ‘til you make it’ by taking action to get you closer to your goals.


Think about all of the successful tasks you’ve completed so far in your career, and on your latest project. It’s human nature to notice the mistakes and failures in disproportionate measure. David Breckheimer teaches us to have at least three “mini-wins” per day. Recognizing what you do well is neither egotistical nor arrogant; it is an essential habit to nurture positive mental health.

  • What can you do to build your confidence this week?
  • What calculated risk can you take to move a project forward?
  • How can you take action that matches your values?


People are either motivated by pain or vision. Choose vision whenever you can. We believe in you!
Here at Kathleen Metcalf Coaching & Training,

Our Vision is to support people so that everyone is gainfully employed in challenging, satisfying, and rewarding work.
Our Mission is to educate, inspire, guide, and help hold you accountable to perform at your best.
Our Values are Compassion, Integrity, Inspiration, Growth, Expertise, Communication, and Teamwork.

We are committed and motivated to bringing massive value to you each month, and indeed each week.
That is why we consciously designed the Success Habits for our Admin Mastermind. November’s Success Habit is Confidence, which leads up to the Success Habit for December, which will be Decisiveness.

*Photo by Miguel Bruna on Unsplash

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